FamilyMatters

Can I Watch TV?

Mike and Liam BOTH got sick last night -- we think from too much brownie batter, but we're not quite sure.

Liam was first up at 2 -- throw up....blech. back to bed. Pete got it and I fell asleep before I figured out what was going on.

Then Mike at 3pm -- throw up...blech. back to bed -- this time I got "wind" of it -- if you know what I mean -- and helped him back into bed.

Then Liam back up at 4 -- "DADDY - TUMMY HURT AGAIN" this time we both got up.  And as I'm helping Liam by rubbing his back as he throws up into the toilet, this transpired.

Liam, hands on the bowl, head in the bowl throwing up. Blech.

Then he looks up at me, "mommy, no school today? me stay home?"

Lee: "yes, honey, you'll stay home today."

Liam: "Me watch TV?"

now I don't think he's putting his finger down his throat to throw up -- way too many tears for that -- but even when this kid has his head in the bowl it's all about myth busters and dirty job!

"I'm Going To Vegas"

One day at school Ms. Levy evidently had a travel segment, where they all talked about going on trips and how to travel and different modes of transportation.  Liam was quite excited.

When Pete picked Liam up that day, Liam told Pete that he was going on a trip with Xavier, Kyle and Jack. When Pete asked Liam where they were going, Liam tapped his forehead and said "thinking." Pete volunteered "are you going to Vegas?"

Liam: "Yeah, Vegas Baby!" and so it started -- by the time the boys all got home, Liam was in full on planning mode for his trip to Vegas that night with Xavier, Kyle and Jack.

I happened to be home early that day. And no one had clued me in. (I repeat, no one had clued me in.) Liam came up the stairs, went directly to his room, packed his bag with all of the necessities (stuffed animals, a few trucks, a couple of books) and came out to the living room with his bag in tow, announcing that it was "time to take (him) to the airport" because "my airplane 6 o'clock."

An animated conversation ensued.

Me: "Liam, where are you going?"

Liam: "Vegas. Me, Kyle, Xavier, Jack go to Vegas six o'clock. you drive me to airport."

Me: "tonight?"

Liam: "Yes - you drive me now!"

I was confused -- what the hell was going on - and where the hell was Pete?

Then the phone rang - I picked it up - pete's number.

"Hello?"

"Hi - it's me, is Liam there?"

"Sure"

"Tell him it's United Airlines"

Did I mention that I hadn't been clued in yet?

I handed the phone to Liam and said "it's united airlines"

Big-eyed, Liam took the phone.

"Hello, is Liam Caraher there?"

"Me Liam"

"Yes, Mr. Caraher I'm calling from United Airlines and I'm sorry to say that all of the flights to Vegas have been cancelled tonight..."

"CANCELLED?"

"Yes I'm sorry that there is no flight to Vegas tonight - I have to go now." and "United Airlines" hung up and then came out of the bathroom.

Liam was devastated. Big crocodile tears. You get the picture. and then he got an idea ....

"Me go to Vegas TOMORROW."

And I said "Liam, I'm sorry baby, but you have horse back riding tomorrow, you can't go to Vegas tomorrow buddy."

And that's when Pete said "Oh Horse Back Riding was Cancelled for tomorrow."

HELLO!

That night Liam called out in his sleep "Cancelled, Vegas Cancelled."

Santa Called Liam Last Night

A couple of nights ago after watching Polar Express (again) Liam brought me a piece of paper and said "Santa. Note" and then mimed licking an envelope.

So he dictated a note to Santa....

Lee: "Dear Santa....ok Liam what do you want to say."

Liam: "This is Liam."

Lee: "Ok, now, do you want to tell Santa that you were a bad boy but you want presents anyway?"

Liam: "No!!! Me Nice!"

Lee: "Ok -- I have been nice this year, and I want....."

Liam: "Indie whip and hat." (Referring of course to Indiana Jones' hat and whip from the first movie.

Lee: "Anything else?"

Liam: "mmmmmmm" (tapping his finger to his forhead) and then with a triumphant finger to the sky "Indie coat"

We finished off the note and addressed it and put it in the pile to be mailed.

Yesterday Santa got the note, funnily enough at my office, and called Liam last night.

Lee "Liam, the phone's for you."

Liam: "who?"

Lee: "I don't know."

Liam "hi...." Listens to Santa (who looks a lot like Dan from Double Forte) say "Liam is that you?"

Liam: "yes" and then his eyes got really big when he heard "this is Santa"

Liam: "Santa?!??!!??! Ohhhh myyyyyy gosh!"

Then after a very animated discussion about santa, indie's hat and whip, pointing at the tree where Santa would leave the presents, talking about hot hot (hot chocolate) and cookies, we finally had to say goodbye to Santa so he could call other kids.

This morning when Liam came down to wake us up, he ran to my side of the bed and said

"Santa call me! make hot hot and cookies Today!!!"

Yeah, I'd be owing Dan $50 for this one!

"Even Your Mom Wouldn't Do That, Mike."

I'm not sure if I've sunk to a new low or a new high, but tonight Michael made dinner (thanks Mike, pasta, some meat sauce and sliced cucumbers). I heard him chop, chop, chopping away and didn't think much of it.....

until....

I heard Pete say, "Mike, even you mom wouldn't do that."

"What?!" asked Mike

"Leave the cucumber peels on the floor."

Is this a compliment? I don't think so!

Mom, you CAN'T come upstairs

Mike is now a 5th Grader. How did I get a 5th grader? More specifically, how did I get a 5'5" 10 year old 5th grader?

In 5th grade at St. Matthew's all the rules change. The kids are in Middle School and they are Upstairs, past a barrier no parent dares breach. They have long school supply lists with things that didn't exist before the Persian Gulf War when I was in 5th grade -- hello scientific calculators? Hello!

First day of School is a big deal at St. Matthew's. Lots of parents go and stay for the coffee and for the first chapel of the year. So of course we went. And after I took the obligatory back-to-school  photo, Mike said "ok Mom, I'll see you in Chapel."

"But Mike I thought I'd go inside first." (just playing with him)

"But Mommmm, you KNOW you can't come upstairs."

"Of course I can come upstairs."

"Mommmmmmmmmmmm you CAN NOT COME UPSTAIRS!!!" and off he went.

I of course waited a few minutes and crept up the stairs to see what all the hubbub is all about. And there he was, amongst a sea of Navy Cardigans, opening up his cool locker and putting all his stuff (and it's a lot of stuff) into it, while talking with great animation to kids around him. He couldn't see me. I didn't matter.

I have a 5th grader and the world will never be the same.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year.... Back To School

I love that Staples ad with the dad dancing through the aisle with his shopping cart to "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" -- and the kids are following him glumly truding along. :)

Not so our kids -- Mike and Liam were excited to get back to school this year.

 Liam started last Monday and to our surprise and delight he is with the FABULOUS Mrs. King and Teach Jamie again and this year there are only three kids in the class..."my girlfriend Madi" and "my friend Lia."  We are thrilled.   Today Liam's homework was a plain paper bag with five things in it that would tell something about each kid. 

Liam's five things:

1. A fireman in full regalia - "help help!"

2. goggles "I like to swim"

3. a grey Webkinz cat "Al"

4. his blue ribbon from the horse show "I won horse" (everybody wins at BOK!)

5. His "Planespotting" guide "big plane! how long? how work? what's this say?"

Randy Pausch: Letting your kids write on the walls

Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon computer science professor whose last lecture impacted so many died today.  Read the New York Times story on his lecture here http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/07/25/last-lecture-professor-randy-pausch-dies-at-47/?hp

What an incredible man.  I remember reading the WSJ story about his last lecture (where he announced his retirement and his incurable pancreatic cancer) in my office last fall and just being overwhelmed -- the tears wouldn't stop -- they won't stop now.

Most good parents I know (yes the subjective!) focus on their kids -- how to help them, how to encourage, how to inspire, how not to get in there way. This is tempered by the realities of getting to school on time, brushing teeth, finishing homework and keeping the peace in a normal life.

Randy Pausch -- in sharing his own story -- has, I hope, dramatically improved the lot of countless children.  Let your kids draw on walls. Let your kids win crappy stuffed animals at carnivals. Don't stifle, encourage -- even when it's hard. Randy' Book At Amazon

Our two kids are so different, so passionate.

Michael -- passionate about the organ and singing and drama and horses. Liam passionate about life in general and connecting with other people. Both easily distracted by the regular beat of the day - both in search of fulfillment in what's in their hearts.

I hope we always remember to let them write on the walls even when it would be so much easier if they were just like other kids.

And Vacation Begins....

Pete left today - by himself to drive to the land of cheese for 12 weeks off.

I could tell he is worried that I won't be able to handle it -- 2 kids, working, pick up, drop off, the schedule.

Anyway -- so it begins. Mike with a combo of sitters and playdates, Liam in school and the ever-popular TAP (therapeutic afterschool program) every day and then out on Thursday, and Lee juggling, while Pete drives East - stopping to see Patrick, making annual stops at every Cabela's between San Francisco and Eau Claire, and driving long stretches alone with no one to talk to unless he picks up the phone.

Sunday after the choir picnic the boys and I fly to Wisconsin and then it's weeks of camp and swimming and golf and grampa.

What an awesome thing for everyone. We never would have thought of it if mom hadn't gotten sick - but then it was the thing to do - pack up and got spend the time she had left in the land of cheese. Of course that was so much longer than anyone imagined -- 4 summers the boys were at the Green House with my mom and dad. And now this is the 3rd summer since she died and we're on our way back.

It's a huge gift to spend so much time with my dad on the lake. A "real" summer at a slower pace doing things they love with their dad around.

Who would have thunk it?

All People Matter

Today 2 mentally disabled women were strapped with explosive and sent into markets in Baghdad and blown up - remotely.  They were used to kill at least 98 people. You can read the story here http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/02/01/iraq.main/.

I am so mad I could scream. As the mother of a special needs child, I am outraged by this story.  To discard these women in such a way is horrific.

I don't understand suicide bombing. There I said it. I get that in some cultures this may be a position of higher calling -- a role of honor that is rewarded by the community. But to send women in who can not make the choice themselves removes any honor from the act does it not?

Liam would go with anyone who asked him. We have to be constantly vigilant about drawing boundaries and making sure he doesn't just walk off with someone -- anyone.

What defense did these women have? What discernment could they bring to their actions.

To choose to use your life is one thing -- I won't debate that here. To use another's life -- without their knowledge or even understanding -- is quite another.

All people matter. Using one body to kill so many others has to be one of the gravest sins possible.

Recalling the Failed Fish Flush

2002 saw a progression of gold fish in the family fish tank, which sat on Michael’s dresser for most of the year.  During the year, Lee and Pete became skilled at switching replacement fish for their deceased friends without attracting notice from either Liam or Michael. 

However the frequency of the great switch became an irritant over time.

One night while Pete was getting Liam ready for bed in his room, Lee noticed that Dorothy the VI had expired while she was helping Michael dress for bed.  When Pete brought Liam into Michael’s room for a story, Lee said quietly to Pete, Dorothy D-I-E-D.”

To which Pete responded loudly, “Dorothy DIED?”

Michael noticed and looked at the tank to see Dorothy floating in the wake of the pump.  Huge tears came to his eyes and he cried, “Dorothy’s dead!”

No amount of comforting could stem the tide.

“Dorothy’s gone to fish heaven.  It’s really nice there — she’s with God in fish heaven,” Lee said.

“NO SHE’S NOT —  SHE’S RIGHT THERE IN THE FISH TANK.  MAYBE SHE’S STILL ALIVE,” wailed Michael.

“Well Michael, we have to send her to fish heaven now that she’s floating,” explained Pete.  “Now we have to flush her down the toilet, and that’s how she’ll get there.”

“SHE DOESN’T WANT TO GO!” cried Michael.

Lee and Pete couldn’t contain their laughter at themselves at fumbling the whole thing so badly. 

Finally, Pete got Dorothy out of the tank and the family moved to the boys’ bathroom, where they all said goodbye to Dorothy, amidst much gnashing of teeth and tears from Michael, and muffled laughter from the bumbling parents.

(Liam, a bit confused about the whole thing, looked on with interest, laughing when Lee and Pete couldn’t hold it in.)

Into the toilet bowl Dorothy went. Lee flushed the toilet and down went Dorothy.

“Goodbye Dorothy, we’ll miss you. We know you’ll love fish heaven,” said Lee.

…. And then….

…….. Dorothy came back up into the bowl.

“I TOLD YOU SHE DIDN’T WANT TO GO,” cried Michael.

Needless to say, the drama took a while longer to resolve. 

Lee and Pete are now considering adding the “Failed Fish Flush” to their upcoming book, “Things We Learned the Hard Way.”